The whole point of free speech is not to make ideas exempt from criticism but to expose them to it.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Hi. I'm Kelly. I'll be your waterboarder today.

"Hello, I'm Kade, and I'll be your teller today. Was the deposit going to be everything for you today?" The voice, in that behind-the-glass tin amplifier mode peculiar to drive-up banking kiosks, also had that interrogatory lilt now affected by the waiters who apparently think it brings us all together when they sit down with us at restaurants when explaining the evening specials.

"No, I'll have an iced latte and a smoked salmon on a garlic bagel with sun-dried tomato cream cheese," I replied. The smile above the soul patch drooped a little and the face moved to another station. I'll admit to being grated by a lot of minor little things these days, but I always thought "Good morning, I'll have your receipt back to you in a moment," was sufficient interaction when I stop by a banking drive-up.

And while I'm at it, have you ever heard a more annoying (or meaningless) ad slogan than "Be you. Be us. Be Northern."? That's the tag line of the So. Dak. Public Radio "partner," Northern State University, heard a few times a day on the morning news show. Or is it just me?


Bill Fleming said...


She should have at least given you her energy granola bar after that.

On the slogan, I'm thinking "BeYou-tiful" would be better, Bob.

They should have called me.

p.s. That IS my intellectual property. But I think it's been swiped about 100 times by now. I coined it in the early '80's. (Probably me and about 10,000 other hippies who were somehow cosmically connected that day.)

Bob Newland said...

Not many women have the name Kade and a soul patch.

Bill Fleming said...

Also hilarious. (slaps self in forehead)