The whole point of free speech is not to make ideas exempt from criticism but to expose them to it.

Friday, December 17, 2010

PuPu revisited

When PuPu the Former Blogger awakened, the first thing he did was stroke the belly of the life-sized George W. Bush inflatable doll he slept with. He’d been torn between the Bush 43 doll and the Ronnie Reagan doll, but he’d decided he preferred the frozen sneer of the “Mission Accomplished!” vinyl president to the vapid grin of the “I can’t remember” one.

After a quickie, during which PuPu swore he heard W sigh in pleasure, PuPu arose and, scratching his privates, answered the phone, which had been ringing for almost five minutes. It was Jewel Dyke, to whom PuPu was contracting to advise in her attempt to become a U.S. Senator.

“Hey, Poops,” Jewel’s surgically-altered voice fairly dripped with sincerity, “just wanted to know what color my yard signs should be.”

PuPu replied, “Good question, shows you’re thinking. I’ll get back to you this afternoon.”

PuPu the Former Blogger knew the answer already; predominantly red, with white and blue tastefully added, but by putting Jewel off for a few hours, he could bill for research. That way, he’d make $500 off a $2 question. “Why do people steal,” he thought, “when there’s so much honest money to be made?”

With the day already paid for, PuPu the Former Blogger picked up “Klaudt’s Klozzet,” the catalog from which he’d ordered the “Dubya” doll. Despite what he interpreted as the doll’s enthusiastic response to his advances, he found himself becoming bored with it.

Seeing what he wanted, he logged onto the Klozzet’s website. Once on the shopping cart page, he typed in “Item #000209: Jazen Glanz Lifelike Action Doll with Lifelike Simulated Impartiality.”

PuPu the Former Blogger then plunged a letter opener into the chest cavity of the George Walker Bush doll. Tears streamed down his face as he watched the doll deflate. It was going to be another one of those days.


Bill Fleming said...

This has the makings of a nice adult "children's book." Needs a funky illustrator. Could be a big cult hit.

BMW said...

Robert Crumb style illustration.

Verification is how I feel today.


larry kurtz said...

Ok, Bob. The War Toilet has blocked both computers and my BlackBerry. Fun while it lasted.

Bob Newland said...

What awful punishment! I too am blocked from visiting SDWC unless I use an anonymous browser. But when I do that, I am only disappointed in the fact that I can not comment on any of the constant stream of worthless crap posted as topics. I believe I shall slash my wrists. Blocked from the blog of the Former Blogger PuPu and current..., uh..., Pettifogger of State PuPu. Argghh, the humiliation of it all.


larry kurtz said...

Wonder if you saw this story.

Bob Newland said...

Yep, about 20 people sent it to me. My news team is hard at work.